Bollukus Eventicus
Oh my God how boss is that?!?! I dont even remember sayin little stars! (Was that aimed at me actually?!) Anywayz, ANOTHER big tanx to Floof you're a star!! :o)
Teehee I got a new connect card from my bank and I feel all suave coz I can actually buy stuff with it!!! I havent yet though coz I'm really scared - I mean what if the guy just points and laughs when I give him it? Its a scary thought, specially as I'll only do it if I have no cash so I'd just have to walk out empty-handed and seriously deflated, all coolness erased forever. Oh yeah I mean it. ALL of it! Hard to believe I know....................
So work's been kinda shit this week coz I've actually had to do some what with Mr. 779 bein off an all. Also, Dean's left now so I cant sit there emailin people wastin all the time in the day anymore! :o( Dean went to Manchester a few weeks ago livin it up with Yox an Dave in Beirut apparently............!! But yeah I misses Dean. :'(
Plus Joe is still in America, an Anna is of course in Aussie, George might be goin to Canada again soon but I might be wrong. Noodle Boys talkin stuff bout Nottingham, EVERYONES LEAVIN!! Poor lil old me aint goin anywhere. God dammit even my mum & Holly (my sis) are goin away for 10 days to Jersey tomorrow an Daves livin in Ki-ee-tee's for the next couple of weeks coz theyre goin away an the dog needs lookin after. Yeah I dont know why they chose Dave either...................!! But that doesnt help me! I wanna go somewhere! *Goes to the loo* NO that doesnt count!!! :oC
On the upside I'm out on the piss again tomorrow so yay! Bye
So here is a telephone conversation (well one side of one) I heard in work today. Remember folks, these people control Tax Credits. Now THAT'S scary.......... "Hello, Tax Credit Office. Arrite lad! Hows tings? Yeah not bad not bad. Do yer yeah? Sound! Arrite mate. See ya later! Ta-ra!" I love work.......................
A BIG thank you to Floof for makin my blog just a tiny bit cool. Cheers hun!! *huggles*
And finally, before I leave to sit in a more comfortable chair, I would like to say GET YER ASSES OUT ON FRIDAY!!!!
Do I have to make another post for my changes to register??
"Still I waste another day of my life and it sickens me to feel this way. Now I can't make up my mind is it right how I let you get inside of me?"
Teehee corny but still................................
Oooooo I'm meant to be meetin a girl called Vicky for a wee deeeeee-rink this week (if she ever bloody well texts me back! grrrrrrr...........) so fingers crossed it all goes well.................
Cheers to Floof for bein a good pal an havin general coolness at ALL times, even when she is getting savagely telbowed from all angles!! ;oD
Also like to say that twas a cool gig on Sunday at Barfly where the guys were once again "The Highlight of the Night!!" A big :oD to everyone who made it and got to see em and an equally big :o} to those who didn't!!
AAAARRRGGH I just totally shat!! Sorry my phone went off an it was on the desk on vibrate an I thought a plane was gonna crash into my house!! :oP Anywayz I'll shut up now.................
OK so last night was the most fucked up night in history! The day time was messed up an I needed things to happen but even I didnt see this kinda stuff comin! It started with meetin up with George, Becky, Beccie D, Catherine and Wood in Hannahs bar (ALL the staff are fit by the way) only to get there to find out I'd missed Wood's band play and no-one was stayin out!
Then I met up with Mr. Banana himself in the Swan after propping the bar up for at least half an hour before he arrived, slowly being corrupted by their more than dodgy staff...................... Anywayz he turned up had a quick pint an then we were off to the Kray. Peet showed up soon after followed by Skip an Al and then all the happy rendez-vousing with Amy went on, but with a sad lack of hopscotch.................................
By this time I'd already managed to somehow get Big Danny drunk with double flaming Aftershock (I'll say no more) traded for some weird brown stuff in a dubious plastic bottle that managed to fuck me up good!! Then theres a strange blur where nothing happened (I hope!!) until suddenly I was outside in the rain an Peet an Mike were there! Turn round 2 seconds later an theyre gone and Danny (not big Danny, Danny Payne) is lyin on the flor conked out bleeding from the head. So out came the phone the ambulance was there in decent time and off we went for a trip to the Royal. A gay Iranian in a tight pink tee shirt approached us looking for pleasantries and finding none and then I conked out myself, woke up to find Danny had been seen and we were off home. Twsa gone 5 o'clock and the night most definitely had to come to an end...................................
Off to Mark's today hopefully to copy a shitload of CDs an then back into Town an on the booze to see the good old Natureboys rock the kids at Barfly. See y'all sooooooooooooon!!! :o)
Y'know just when you think things are startin to go your way life just seems to kick you in the fuckin bollocks. People just have absolutely no fuckin consideration whatsoever for others, whether they claim to actually give a shit or not, they just use you when it takes their fancy an drop you like a piece of shit in two seconds flat. No-ones probably gonna have a clue what I'm goin on about an coz of who may or may not be reading this I'm not gonna say but I just wanted to post somethin now while I'm still very much pissed off. Its times like these I wish I could just smoke my way into an ignorant frenzy but there lies a short fall of living at home.
Back to the point at hand it just pisses me off when people who pretend to befriend you actually dont give a shit and probably never will, even if you have made it perfectly clear that you would in fact give all the shit in the world to mean just a little bit more to them, at which point they just ignore you until they think its worn off or they need you for something again. Bring on the alcohol-fuelled debt.
Something about this scenario kinda freaks me - as I sit here I'm listening to Davidian by Machine Head who, from what I have sampled, I'm still undecided about, but the freaky bit is that my Nan is comin round in a mo, I'm in the house alone an feelin kinda hardcore. I dunno if I can transform myself from my usual hardcore "too much metal for 10 hands" self (what?!) into the nice pleasant favourite grandson (dont tell Dave!) that I can be. Even freakier is I'm gonna be handin over the electric power cutter we borrowed (*feels even more metal*) an holdin that in one hand an bein all nice at the same time is gonna be hard methinks................................
Also, I would like to point out at this time thst yes I do realise how much my blog format sucks coz I am mosr definitely not Mr Internet Guy. Still, you dont mind.
*Wonders who he's speakin to*
*Watches tumbleweed roll by*
OK so this is a genuine and actual letter of complaint posted to NTL :-
Customer complaint aimed at NTL : By Unknown
Here's a letter from a misused British citizen to his telecommunications provider. Those of us with a less-developed sense of style and a humbler command of the lingo can only wistfully aspire to such heights of reasoned complaint.......
Dear Cretins,
I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During this three month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties – or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office.
My initial installation was cancelled without warning or notice, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive at all, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website.... how?
I alleviated the boredom to some small degree by playing with my testicles for a few minutes – an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept. The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools –such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived. After several further telephone calls (actually 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks) my modem arrived ... a total of six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it. I estimate that the downtime of your internet servers is roughly 35%... these are usually the hours between about 6pm and midnight, Monday to Friday, and most of the useful periods over the weekend. I am still waiting for my telephone
connection.
I have made nine telephone calls on my mobile to your no-help line this week, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled bollock jugglers. I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone will call me back), that no telephone line is available (and someone will call me back),that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off), that I will be
transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed), that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot woman.... and several other variations on this theme.
Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to. Frankly I don't care, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustrations in print than to shout them at your unending hold music.
Forgive me, therefore, if I continue. I thought BT were shit, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of god-awful customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could bemore disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable
dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum: incompetents of the highest order. British Telecom - wankers though they are – shine like brilliant beacons of success in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you do likewise, and cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me forthe services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically
failed to deliver. Any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief although these feelings will quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps a small measure of bemused rage.
I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you, and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and its worthless employees.
Have a nice day - may it be the last in your miserable short life, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats,
Yours psychotically,
I utter no word of a lie this is real.
Knob ed is an anagram of bonked.
Well now it seemed to me that I was missing out on all the bloggy fun so I'm gonna join in!! :o)
Er, really don't have a lot to post right now but be sure that there will be plenty of fun-filled excitement heading this way in the very near future! (I get bored a lot)
