Hehehe cheers fella!! :o)

Seems to me people like feelin sorry for themselves. Nothin wrong with it mind, but its weird. Doesnt matter how well youre doin, theres always somethin that makes you feel like the world hates you. Even if youre havin the time of your life, theres gonna be somethin that drags you down. Its human nature y'see. Theres some sort of malfunction that gives you the feelin that everyone else is better off than you. I mean theres the pretentious people who go on about how "there are people less fortunate than you - look at all those third world countries", but really they feel the same way. Is it a strive for perfection in life? No actually. And its not greed either. Or ungratefulness. Point is, if youre gonna let the shit get to you, youre NEVER gonna be happy. Youre gonna deprive yourself of things you want and need, purely because you think that eventually its gonna get better. Its not. This is life. This is how it is. Accept it. Take what you can from it, coz apparently you think its not gonna give you anythin so just take it. Otherwise you'll end up empty handed, and even more miserable than you are now. As hard as you might find that to believe, its true. Dont wait around for things to get better, coz they wont. You have three choices. 1) Make it better. 2) Accept it and stop lettin it bother you. 3) Let it get you down, let it deprive you of happiness, and kill yourself. Please dont go for number 3. Its cowardly and its totally redundant.  ¶ 24.10.03

  Hmmmmmm where to start......................

OK its been a few days since an update so just to refresh I'm still unemployed, I'm still nocturnal-ish and not a lot has happened really. Monday had Joey round pretty much all day doin feck all really, then yesterday went to Barfly to see ...secondnature... an I think I'll start there.

It disappoints me when people say things they either dont mean or dont fulfil, and the worst part is I'm used to it. It used to REALLY piss me off but its happened that often in the last two years or so that it kinda just washes over me these days. It still annoys me and I will ALWAYS remember who you are, what you said/did and what your excuse was. That way if youre bull-shittin me I'll know coz eventually you'll use the same excuse repeatedly or just stop makin excuses full stop. And I will drop you like a bad habit believe me. You'll end up in the same light as Becky to me and I know NO-ONE wants that. Especially me. One is enough thank you very much.

Moving on, I would like to say fuck off to anyone who patronises me (and I'm not talkin about the Kids thing here!!) because they assume something about me means something it doesnt. I'm 20. I'm unemployed. I didnt go to university. None of these things, either alone or combined, make you better than me in ANY way. You dont automatically win a debate simply because youre older than me, or because you have more qualifications than me, or even if you have more people on your side. So dont DARE think you do, and dont DARE think that you "know better", dont EVER say "trust me, I know" to me and kindly reserve your superiority complex for your goldfish.

I was gonna put a third rant on all at once here but I'm gonna reserve it for when I'm in a better mood with some of the people who read this, coz its personal and right now I dont think it would be appropriate for certain people to see. Anyone who cares to find out if theyre one of the people I'm upset with youre welcome to ask me privately, coz I dont wanna publicise it. If you care. If you dont think its you dont ask me though coz I want people to learn for themselves. Dont just ask "just in case", ask me only if you think I have a reason to be upset with you. Coz that way I'll learn more about you too.  ¶ 22.10.03

  Worst hangover EVER................

Yup I'm in serious pain today I got far too drunk last night. Problem was Joey was drunk when she arrived so I was playin catch up all night long so I went a bit nuts. 3 Aftershocks 2 tequilas an a shitload of anythin else I could get my hands on, free or otherwise. I mean it was a really good night but still sometimes you get up and think was it worth it!! I got home at 8am. Bumped into a lot of people so heres me tryin to remember them all!! OK here we go - Peet, Anna, Amy, Claire, Ann, Bish, other Pete, Stu, Neil, J, Cobweb, Tony, Paul and probably some other peeps too. Oh yeah there was Ben and also Snarlie was in the Swan fresh from his Darkness disappointment. Awwwww......................

Big ups to
Mr Auto who I also saw last night I distinctly remember said incident I also seem to have a recollection of a birthday party in some pizza place that I think was your 7th. But I may be makin that up........... And hey your attire wasnt TOO bad at least your tie glowed in the dark!!

Also gotta mention again gig comin up at Barfly Tuesday I go on I know but hey whatcha gonna do?!?! Kick my ass for it if you want I'll be in Barfly on Tuesday night so you can do it then!!

Anyway thats it from me i'm gonna go kick ass on Red Alert 2 now. :o)  ¶ 19.10.03

  Today I have a smile on my face. The reason? Coz I'm not gonna be bored AT ALL all day. How often can I say that?! Fact is its half 3 and Ive only been up for an hour but that means Ive slept off my hangover so I feel fine, I have stuff to do between now and goin out tonight!!

Been a fun couple of days pretty much from the moment AFTER my mum threatened to murder me. Actually this is a serious point so I wont joke about it I dunno what was up with her she just came in from work in a FOUL mood an took it out on us she seriously went beserk she told us to fuck off for the first time EVER then said get out the house before I stab you. So now thats two things shes said to me that are gonna stick with me for my whole life. It was actually scary Ive never been scared of my mum before in that way I'm not sure I can take livin in an atmosphere like this much longer. As much as I love my dad honestly its relaxin to have him away for a while an usually its not so tense when hes not around but thats gone now I'm on tip toes all the time I shouldnt have to live like this. Sadly I cant afford to live like anything else right now I know I should be grateful for havin what I have but it doesnt make it easy.

Anyway since then its been a fun time! Went out with Joey on Thursday to meet Hygeine Freak and Ippie we originally planned to do the quiz but upon gettin wasted on 3 pints HF promptly left an so me an Joey were left sittin there to fend for ourselves! We didnt do the quiz - actually because there were no seats we were gonna but hey! Then Noodle Boy joined us an we went off to the Kray to get wasted. Bumped into a few buds includin Pete, Carmen, Emma, J, Bower an Col. I think. Yeah we got drunk anyway so it was fun.

After we left me an Joey had a really good long talk (we didnt get home til 7am!) it looks like we're gonna give this a real go so you can see why I'm happy for now!! I think we're goin out tonight (well I am I hope she comes!) so we should be good an drunk again!! Dont suppose anyone else is? Nah no-ones got any money. :o( Weird really I'm the only one who doesnt work an I'm out the most!! Its fucked up and as patronising as this is I sympathise!

Yeah anyway was out last night too met up with Gay-orrrrr-gay for a bit of a shop (I bought Se7en and a Fear Factory DVD) then we rendez-voused with Skip ,H and Ippie then Mr 779 and HF joined us, both of whom managed to get far too drunk far too early and got lost. Seriously I have no idea where they went they left the Swan after the Laydees then just never came back. Never saw em again. Then after numerous attempted phone calls we gave up an went off to Le Bateau and had an OK night. Saw Col, Bower, J, Stoish, Becky, Vicky, Nicky, Jenny, Dave, Phil, Catherine, Cobweb and Ann. Highlight of the night was probably kickin ass in the piggy-back wars I reckon. Yeah me and Ann destroyed J and Bower (least I think thats who it was) but anyway THEY WENT DOWN!! We're still undefeated after two battles now. :o)

So yeah off out tonight too should be a larf it usually is! Bye for now!!  ¶ 18.10.03

  Hmmm here I am again bloggin for no reason really other than for somethin to do.......

So yeah it was mums birthday today (well technically yesterday but hey) it seemed to go well. She got in from work then got all her pressies the candle holder thingy seemed to go down well so I was pleased at least then we went for a meal at New Orchid Garden, the Chinese on Eaton Road. Twas pretty cool I had me some crab it was boss! Well actually it was crab & sweetcorn soup but it ruled then duck (of course) an main meal of Lamb Satay on a Sizzling Platter. Yup, y'know when youre in a restaurant an theres always some flash fucker who gets the loud meal and everyone looks round to see what it is? Yeah well that was me!!! :oD Then followed that with banana fritters I LOVE banana fritters they fuckin rule. See now that one I'll give you.

Also saw Dave upon his return from York all seemed well from the Nature gig up there so think everyones pretty satisfied with how it went. Next ones in Barfly next Tuesday (21st) so try an get there Ive got a shitload of flyers so you'll save a quid from a rendez-vous with the Nickster!!! Anyway yeah get there!! Theres bound to be plenty of reminders between now an then anyway from me an probably one or two others! ;o)

Oh yeah I knew why I wanted to blog before!! I was gonna rant about shit so I'm gonna! :o)

This whole blog/diary thing whatever you wanna call it theres some fucked up shit that goes on these things an some really personal stuff too (for me thats why I can count how many people have the link on my hands an toes) an sometimes we kinda look for a reaction. Y'know, we're in some situation where we kinda need help from a friend, but we either dont know who to ask or we're too scared to, so we put it on the blog and hope someone responds either personally or just in their own blog. Ive done it and I know most of you have too. But sometimes theres the ones that we kinda just wanna get off our chest an then forget. See I read somethin in a blog today that hit me an at first I thought "Oh shut the fuck up stop moanin an stop bein so dramatic!" but then I considered that I didnt know even NEARLY all the facts, so I reserved my judgment. This entry to me at least was clearly someone just lettin go an not givin a shit so thats why I'm 1) not gonna mention who it was or what it was about and 2) not even gonna mail said person or even mention it. You could say that its totally pointless sayin any of this if I'm not gonna do either of those things, but you'd be wrong. Consider this - I could easily do a hyperlink to said blog, get said person more attention and sympathy than I think they want, and they'd be more fooked than before. The point is, dont think that I/we dont give a shit, just coz I/we dont come runnin with support every time theres a sad/angry/frustrated etc. blog entry. Bear in mind that your best and closest friends have read what you write, know what youre goin through and try their best to understand and to help when THEY THINK you need it. (This is me kinda indirectly offerin myself btw hehe!!) But yeah theres times when I consider mailin someone, or mentionin them in the blog, and sometimes I do sometimes I figure leave it alone. It really is a judgment call so theres no need to get upset or angry if you dont get the support you think you deserve. Chances are it will come coz people tend to be too nice so someone is always bound to offer some sort of sympathy I know that myself. Also need to point out this isnt me sayin I dont want your help either coz I sometimes need it although to be honest it does tend to come mostly from the same person each time but theres no grudge there AT ALL!! Anyway Ive kinda gone off the point a bit here an youre bored so I figure a new paragraph is easier on the eyes!!

There that better?? Cool. Just to finish, dont be disgruntled, keep doin what youre doin, an everythin will be fine. Actually no wait I cant end that with "everythin will be fine" I'll word it differently. *copy paste* dont be disgruntled, keep doin what youre doin, know that theres help if its needed when its needed and I cant think of a profound ending not that I need bother coz everyones probably stopped readin by now anyway.........  ¶ 16.10.03

  So now its Tuesday. Wow profound..............

Anyway yeah what have I been up to? Hmmm lets see went to Town with Joey yesterday an bought my mums birthday present for tomorrow. I got her this green candle holder from one of the shops in Quiggins its really pretty so I'm hopin she likes it!!

Bumped into a couple of peeps too we saw Joolia in some shop in Clayton Square that I dont know the name of and we also saw Peet by Music Zone. I was in there lookin for the Tool DVD. Its not new but when it came out I didnt have a DVD player but now we do so I can get it, but now I cant find it!! Fookin pain in the ass I'll just get it on the net I suppose.

Yeah the Joey thing seems to be goin well too still. Dunno what else to say really!! Ive actually been told by people that I sound really unenthusiastic. Is that true?? I mean seriously feedback here folks coz maybe people think I should be goin on about it more if I like her? I dunno I guess I just dont think people are interested so I dont go nuts about it. Well anyway I AM enthusiastic as maybe you can tell when I'm with her rather than when I'm talkin about her so yeah, I'm kinda happy here. Its a bit weird coz its healthy y'know? Its always either I really like someone who isnt all that assed an I end up pushin too hard an get told "just mates" or its the other way round an theres someone peskin me who I'm not really interested in that way. Either way its always the way that one person is always doin the work an one isnt assed, but it seems to be different here. Maybe thats normal an Ive been unlucky/cursed/smell really bad an no-one told me/stupid but whatever it is its not like that. Either thator shes really a really good actor! Anyway I'll shurrup now coz I'm babblin again  ¶ 14.10.03

  I am in so much pain right now...................

Yeah been to the Kray 3 nights in a row (again) didnt get home til nearly 6am last night!!!! Bumped into a shitload of people last night so I'm gonna forget someone sorry if its you!! OK Joey came round then we headed off to the Swan to meet *breathes in* Floof, Wally, Lee, Danny, H, Noodle Boy and of course the b'day boy and his laydee! Was there for roughly 2 minutes coz I was late so we went the Kray straight away. In there bumped into *deep breath number 2* Ann, Peet, other Pete, Stu, Carmen, Emma, Anna and last but not least, Mr Auto!!!! I had no idea you were you I guess I probably should have got onto it what with the name an all but I just never made the connection!! Do people know we've known each other since we were about 6?! Or is it longer than that even?!?! I still havent seen those goddam photos mofocker! Look look I made a link - youre next to Bong!! :oD *Points*

But yeah people makin me drink flamin Aftershocks an whatnot got me fairly ill more than drunk but I didnt hurl so I dont mind. :o) Twas a cool night anywayz got home round 6ish then had to get up at 2pm!! :oO Couldnt believe it dragged out of bed at such an appalling hour - just to go for a meal with family we havent seen for months. I mean - is that not an absolute outrage?!?! Sheesh.........................

But yeah seems to be goin well with Joey Ive thought about puttin somethin on here before about it but I thought not coz its kinda almost like talkin bout her behind her back in a way but its not like I'm bein nasty is it? Shes really cool and as some know shes shy but cool all the same. By the way for future reference pointing out to a shy person how shy they are is probably the worst thing you can do. But then I'm sure you knew that....................

So another week of boredom ahead I need to go to Town actually its mums b'day on Wednesday so gotta get somethin for that an I think were goin out in the evenin for a meal so should be fun. Should I put how old she is? Nah I wont. Hey its not like you care is it?

Yeah thats me done. I just read this back an I sound angry!! I'm not! :oP  ¶ 12.10.03

  OK the Mr Men site is BOSS!! I made Mr Flump he ruled SO much! :oD

Yeah I'm not hungover anymore I was though nearly spewed this mornin but I survived. Thursday was out with Mr 779, Hygeine Freak, Charlotte, Caiti, Dave and Joey. Sadly everyone buggered off to go home but me an Joey went the Kray where we bumped into Ian and Peet, an we had a cool night. We bought one drink an then went round stealing other people's for the rest of the night. Was a laugh an it was cheap so it was pretty much a boss night!!

Went again last night this time with Jenny an Vicky they were both FUCKED the pair of em hurlin everywhere it was funny though coz I wasnt so I just laughed at them. I WAS drunk though coz I had all kinds of shots bought for me an they hurt after a while. I can still taste it now. Plus bumped into Anna who decided she wanted to take my virginity so I let her and she did. Also saw Ann an we had a chat which was cool, an saw Becky too an came to the conclusion that if she straightened her hair and dyed it black, grew the appropriate moustache and wore glasses, she would look just like Jon Davis from KoRn. Seriously she would. Those of you who know what she looks like MUST agree!!

I ate some of the Flump Frosting this afternoon that me an Joey made it was a bit weird. It went a bit like a mousse which I thought was cool at first til I realised it probably only went like that coz its been sittin there for 2 days untouched. So I only ate a bit. It was nice but the base had gone a funny colour so I didnt eat all of it. I do feel a bit weird now actually hope I dont die.....................

You have to go here and play Nun Landing!! Oooo and the Blaine Game! They fuckin rule its SO boss!!!!

To Ann - hang in there an stay strong you'll be fine I know it. That really is fucked up what happened but you'll be OK I can tell. Always here.

Reckon I'm gonna be out tonight too now I am starting to concern my mum she thinks I'm an alcoholic. I dont think I am but then I wonder how exactly do you define one? I mean Ive been out drinkin EVERY day this week except Tuesday. I dont NEED alcohol I dont think I just enjoy it. BIG spect to Kayte for what youre doin its probably somethin I should do too. Just to prove to myself that I can. Hmmm..............

I would also like to officially invite anyone who isnt yet a Flump Lumpa Troopa to make an official application on the Kray message board. *Points to "Kray Chat" link* the form can be found on the "Chattin Shite" board and was kindly compiled by the lovely Kayte for all to fill in. We currently have 5 FLTs plus one expressed desire so the more the merrier!! :o)

Yeah thats it from me now see y'all soon!!  ¶ 11.10.03

  *Is still kinda nocturnal*

So went to see Underworld. hmmmm. It was cool I guess but I wasnt enthralled to be honest. It had the originality which is always good but I thought it was a bit slow. The actin wasnt great either, not that I knew who any of the actors were anyway, cept the old guy Victor. But yeah it was ok

Oooooo I'm makin Flump Frosting this afternoon. hopin I dont throw up its actually an icing for a cake but I cant be assed makin the cake coz we havent got most of the ingredients plus I cant cook. So yeah its officially a marshmallow thing but I figure it'll work with flumps dont see why not. Obviously I'm gonna fuck it up coz it involves basic cookery skills (commonly known as common sense) that I quite blatantly lack, so it'll probably either end up as some nasty bitty, gooey mess or I'll spill it everywhere. Still gonna eat it though................

Goin the Kray tonight AND tomorrow gonna bein town tomorow all day coz goin to watch Vicky get her tattoo so she'll be in pain so it'll be funny. Which means drinkin from round 2 in the afternoon til late. Gonna be hungover too so I'll probably hurl at some point. Dunno if I'm gonna make it out on Saturday hopin I can but mums goin out so I might have to stay in with Holly, even though she is 15, coz dads away til the end of the month. I might be able to wriggle out of it though..................

Yeah I know youre bored now I'll shurrup  ¶ 9.10.03

  So I gets up this mornin an theres the mail sittin there. Great stuff - envelope with BOB MCDOODLE on the front!! :oD It was our Muse tickets for November arrivin an I was laughin my head off for about 10 minutes when I saw that. Ordered em online y'see an of course I have to register as Bob!!

Actually it was only this mornin coz Ki-eee-tee phoned at bout 11 I would have been in bed til bout now probably (13:42). I think I'm turnin nocturnal. Seriously, I havent gone to bed before 2am in about 10 days, an today was the first time I saw morning (of the after-sleep variety) since last Thursday. I think its unhealthy, but then I think well actually, why? Its not like I actually have anythin to do in the daytime, an its way more fun bein up late an stuff. Scary part is though I dont even get tired til about 2:30, so even if I went to bed I'd probably just end up lyin there til 2:30 before I got to sleep! Only problem with it really is when I do have to get up I'll be fucked, but then again I'll sleep well the next night wont I?? It probably is unhealthy an I'll probably realise why soon enough but for now I dont think I mind...................

But yeah Caiti was just here an she brought me a pressie!! Its a flump sandwich!!!! :oD Its got big sweet thingys in the centre but instead of bread its big flump triangles!! Its from the same shop that H bought my flump kebab. Apparently its on the Albert Dock or somewhere I'm seriously gonna have to go check this place out, armed with debit card an everythin!! I feel a bit queasy at the mo just had beans on toast an I ate it a bit too quick I think my stomach isnt up to new fangled things yet.

Oo oo oo I'm goin to see Underworld tonight! It looks boss an Ive heard it is so I'm really lookin forward to it. I havent seen a flick for a while I think the last one was Pirates of the Caribbean (which was phenomenal btw) so its about time I went again. Have to get some of those Super Apples. You know the ones. They taste like bananas!!

Sheesh fillin the days is gettin harder I'm startin to run out of videos an DVDs to watch. In the past couple of weeks Ive sat an watched both Lord of the Rings films, Jackass The Movie, Batman Forever, The Truman Show, Tombstone, Big Daddy, Gone in 60 Seconds and Ocean's Eleven. Plus a shitload of added bonus extras an crap like that. We've got loads more but Ive seen them all about a million times anyway I'll have to buy some new ones. But cheap ones. Can you believe that Seven is £16.49 in HMV?! ON VIDEO!! I mean how old is that film now?? And its THAT much?! Scandalous it is. The DVD is about £20 too an even thats a bit steep if you ask me. But then you didnt................................

I'm gonna go watch the dishes now..............  ¶ 8.10.03

  I'm hungover and its not nice. :o( Mainly coz I was drunk last night!!!!! :oD

Yeah met up with Joey in Town an took back my new coat. The guy tried to make me buy a new one, choosing to ignore the fact that I was wearing one and had another one in a bag. Hmmmmmm clever boy he was........................

Then we went for "a" drink in the Swan, at which point we bumped into that, that and that shortly followed by Lee. They soon left an we stayed chattin with Paul an some guy called Martin, whose spit I probably still have on me somewhere coz theres little chance that I wiped it all off. :o| Anyway we were there til closin then me & Joey went to the Jac til they kicked us out from there too!! By which time I was beer drunk, not silly drunk you know what I mean....... Anyway yeah shes cool an shes dead priddy, AND she likes flumps!!! :oD

I listened to my new One Minute Silence album for the first time yesterday its REALLY good! I hardly ever say that after just one listen I think Ive only said that about Demanufacture, Height of Callousness and Orgy stuff so that means I'm gonna really like it, which is clearly a good thing! I met their singer at Download....................... ;o)

Oh an I STILL havent got my coat back fookin Kris didnt come after all yesterday so still waitin on the flump kebab. Sheesh................

I'm pretty sure thats all I have to say for now.......................  ¶ 7.10.03

  The first Sunday I havent been hungover in months...............

So yeah done bugger all today. Again. Goin into Town tomorrow though hopin the shop take my new leather back, what with findin my old an all.................. Hehe theres no reason why they wouldnt. Which will mean I'll have my birthday money back!! :o) Dunno what I'm gonna spend it on though I'm determined not to just wither it away on beer coz I want somethin other than sick stains to show for it y'know?!?!

Hehe lovin the cat blog. As you can see. ;o) But I AM gonna call it that *points* coz I still think thats what she should have been called..............

I'm also gonna buy some ingredients tomoroow for the first step of Transflumpation (notice the capital 't'?) Gonna get me some, actually no I'm not gonna tell you. It can wait til it goes wrong. Hey maybe I should buy myself a REALLY good blender!! :oD "Happy birthday to me.............................."

*Dances off*  ¶ 5.10.03

  I just had an epiphany.

I think I just realized why Ive never had a serious relationship in my whole life, in fact any relationship at all worth mentioning. I think its coz I'm too much of a poof. Seriously why do I do it? All I do is sit there textin people instead of callin them an actually speakin to them. I think its too impersonal. It gives the impression that I cant be assed and that I'm not all that interested. Its totally not true I just hate phones. I can never think of anythin to say I'd much rather speak in person y'know? So of course they always think I dont like them as much as I really do so theyre scared to get themselves involved in case it goes wrong. Its fucked up an you'd think by now I would have got over my gay little phone thing but here I am textin someone right now coz I dont wanna phone em. Maybe I'll phone her tomorrow. Coz once you pop you cant stop.

Can you tell Ive had one of those days where I havent done anythin so Ive just sat round thinkin about stuff? I can see a few more of these days round the corner. Worse part is its Saturday night. And I'm in the house! I cant believe it.

Eurgh I'm tired and I'm bored and I'm sober and I'm unemployed and I'm single and I'm smelly. But hey dont we all say yes to the question "Are you stessed?" I mean we wouldnt ever let ourselves say no would we? Even if we werent. Coz even if I was wide awake, entertained, drunk, employed, had a g/f AND clean I'd still say yes to that question. And you know you would too. Which is why I'm not gonna get down. This is me ventin my spleen an gettin past it. Still............................. hehe  ¶ 4.10.03

  So I just took the blogger survey. Wow

Feelin ever-so-slightly fragile today twas a rough night last night. Twas Charlottes birthday yesterday so we all went out for that there was Mr 779, Hygiene Freak, Ellie (?), Sex Offender an Joe, who came out last night for the first time in ages so that was cool. Bumped into Gay Tony (who isnt gay) in Bar Cava too an he was in Le Bateau later on as well. In there we encountered Peet, Becky, Ann, Bish, Beccie D, Stoish, J, John, Col, Joey an some of the guys from LoBe so that was cool also. I realise you probably have no idea who nearly ANY of these people are.....................!!

Was awoken this mornin by a phone call from Kris sayin he had my leather in his car from the Kray gig an the flump kebab is still there!!!! :oD So I'll be gettin that back tomorrow night an hopefully the shop will tale my new one back! Ive only worn it for a couple of hours so they should theres no reason why they wouldnt I dont think. I'm chuffed coz I like my old one way more plus this way I get to eat more flumps!!!

Speakin of flumps I had another great idea today whilst wandering round Old Swan Tesco hopefully I'm gonna actually go buy the stuff I need to make some of this stuff. Its cool coz Dad went away on Thursday for a month so theres gonna be extra milk so I can use that for my ingenious concoctions. Keep it here for regular updates. :o)

dont think I can be assed goin out tonight I'm a bit fucked from last night I reckon I'll have a quiet night in. That sounds so boring. I kinda wanna coz its fun but I do feel a bit sick still plus I'm not exactly rollin in it now am I?? Sayin that hopefully I'll be gettin £120 on Monday when I take my new coat back plus I reckon work still owe me about £300 coz I had 10 days annual leave left when I finished an Ive been told they pay you any you have, so that 2 full weeks worth! Gotta ring em Monday an find out about that actually........................

Oooooo I bought a silver hair dye yesterday too! Its weird coz it just looks blue in the pot but the guy insisted it was silver. Coz it said so on the pot label. :o| I'm hopin it works it might just look grey but hey its better than the blondey brown beige colour it is at the moment right?! I'll look sophisticated. Yeah.  ¶ 4.10.03

  I just told someone to go kill himself. Is that wrong? Oh well

So the Job Centre woman was tryin to make me work for M&S today. She said "how interested are you in retail work?" "It would be a last resort in desperation," was my reply. "Well what about Marks an Spencer then?" HUH?! What the fuck?! What the hell did I just say?!?! Anyway I told her no an she was all ooooo fine then we wont find you a job fussy mofocker!! But yeah I got a few info sheets for some jobs theyre all poo I dont even think I can be assed applyin for any of em. Well theres one I might go for but its not flexi I NEED FLEXI its like goin with an ugly bird, then pullin a fit one, you never go back do you?! Or that is you dont until you have to...................

Oh yeah no disrespect to Mand or Anna but those blogs are dead now right? So I took em off my links. Mainly coz I had nothin to do really!!

So a South African knocks at the door today. I open it an he goes "Mrs Young?" I'm like, er, what do you think?! Anyway he was standin there with a broom pokin out of a white plastic bag an said "£12.98 please". Hmmmm, er, no? I mean seriously how freaky is that? Anyway I told him to bugger off (politely of course) an it turns out mum did order somethin so now hes gotta come back but hey I wasnt to know!! Anyway it was funny so I dont care.

Ooooo goin into town again tomorrow then goin out to Le Bateau for Charlottes birthday should be a larf. Specially if her sister's there hehehe ;o) So anyone gonna be out tomorrow night? In the Swan maybe?? Anyone? Oh well if you are gimme a shout I might be in there anyway but do anyway.

Ive decided I'm gonna branch out into what I call Transflumpation. I'm gonna concoct all kinds of, er, concoctions with flumps as the main ingredient. Its gonna rule I have a disturbing amount of surprisingly good ideas that might actually work without people throwin up!! "Wheres the fun in that?!" I hear you cry. Well dont worry theres plenty of ideas that will make people hurl so fear not!! Hehe a new age is upon us.........  ¶ 2.10.03

  I feel like doin a blog. So I'm gonna do a blog. Theres forward thinkin for you...............

So yeah my template is still fucked up its doin my head in now coz I keep changin it to the way I want an I go to preview an its boss!! But then when I republish to register the changes permanently nothin happens its still the same. Its a pain in the ass I'm thinkin it might just be the display settings on my monitor or somethin like that but then I think well why does it work in preview?!?! Eurgh its fooked up it really is

Anywayz went into Town today to buy some stuff. Guess who's back!! NEO BABY!! Yes thats right I have a new leather its not as groovy as my last one coz I couldnt afford a real nice one so I had to get one that wasnt such soft material but its essentially the same as the old one. I contemplated gettin a full length one but again the cost was a bit much for them. I spent £120 as it was an its not like I'm rakin it in now is it?!?!

Also got some new pants from Raphs theyre weird I'm not sure I like them. Technically theyre jeans but theyre not denim theyre a kind of canvas material I havent made up my mind about them yet, but I had them specially made so I kinda had to buy em!! After that went for a few drinks with Ann we're gettin on fine now so thats cool one less thing for me to worry about! Also bumped into Peety Baby on Slater Street so we had a very brief chee-hat (thats "chat" in Bitchwaxianese) an then we went our separate ways.

Then got home an went straight back out to visit Gramps for a wee bit he seems perfectly well hes drivin again now an theres even talk of him goin back to the golf course next week, which is his ABSOLUTE passion he normally goes 3 times a week but he hasnt been for about 6 weeks I think so he'll be made up if that goes well. :o)

WARNING: Rant approaching................................................

Y'know so much time is spent on people sittin round wishin they had a boyfriend/girlfriend an then it causes so much stress an anguish, even when youre in a relationship you never really know whats goin on do you? Or is that just me an I just have really unhealthy ones?! But really whenever I think back to a time where Ive been in a relationship or been on the brink of one or in the aftermath of one, its nothin but confusion, stress and depression! I'm sure its all worth it if you get somewhere with one but how often does that happen really? I mean this isnt me officially withdrawing myself from the services of the women of the world, (*hears worldwide sighs of relief*) but is it really worth the hassle?? I'm beginnin to think not an I'm dyin to be proved wrong but I cant see it happenin myself.........................  ¶ 2.10.03