Bollukus Eventicus
It's a B-E-A-utiful day here in Liverpool England.......................
Soooooooooo I see poeple's omnibus observational skills have yet to improve. YOU know who you are. Lil Miss Oh I'll Just Toddle Along Dale Street And Ignore Mr Nick Every Freakin' Mornin!! You're at it again I see? There is only one word for moments like these, for people like you - hmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!
Took a lil time off work this week, just for the sheer hell of it really. We were on the 2-10 shift and I hate it so I didn't do it!!! Pretty cool really, and with Friday's day off Me and Joey went off to Chester Zoo!! Twas pretty bitchin, what with the sausage bear an all.................. A generally fun day was had, much like our recent excursion to Alton Towers, which also ruled!!
This weekend may or may not include a Kray trip, as tonight's activities are as yet undecided. Last week we completely pigged out in front of videos it was BOSS, and this week an energy-sapping couple of days may lead to something similar, depending on later. By the way I do realise that you couldn't really give a shit but I've really got nothin else to write about and it's my blog so there!!
Having said that, there is something I would like to mention that MIGHT attract a tad of interest. Those of you that will see me over the course of the next week or so will probably notice a slight difference to my appearance. No I have not removed the Beard and regained my youthful good looks and no I have not erased the flowing locks from my head. It is in fact an enforced "alteration", that frankly I'm none too pleased about. Remember the tooth I smashed to pieces six months ago that they filled? Well, it fell off yesterday. That's right folks. Gaping hole, front centre. But hey....................................
That's the way the cookie crumbles.
How do you ask a spelling question in written text?
Working in admin tends to bring up a lot of names, some of which can be mildly amusing, mostly not admittedly, but now and again some are downright stupid. This guy's parents were clearly one of three things. That's a) totally pissed, b) completely unwanting of their child and very cruel or c) a comedy double act. If your surname is Stiff, what is the ONE name you cannot give to your male offspring? Richard. Not only does this invite cruelty through said person's entire childhood, but it also reflects rather badly on any unfortunate (although somewhat ironic) "disappointments" in the bedroom in later life. Middle name, "not-so", anyone................??
So I had a mild epiphany of rather insignificant proportions a short while ago. That was that, the vast vast vast vast vast majority of people in this world completely fail to appreciate most things that they have. I admittedly am undoubtedly guilty of this. However the point I would like to make is actually designed to dispel a common myth surrounding said subject. That is, that we only appreciate the things we have when we lose them. This is catastrophically inaccurate, because, in actual fact, we realise just how much we missed things when we get them back again. AFTER losing them. This clearly would normally be analogy time, I can smell your desire for a burning example, but it's far too fragile to bring it up. Let's just say things are back the way they should be for now, and it's good.
And so to continue the recent habit of, er, habitual subject changes within a post, I would like now to move on to another topic. Anyone paying any great attention to recent postings may or may not have noticed an increase in articulacy (which ironically may have JUST ended, coz fuck knows if "articulacy" is a word). The reason(s) for this is and are that I'm just that damn clever, and it's about time everybody knew so!! And so all of ye must take heed, for the time of glorified self-righteousness is upon us. Behold, the beginning of a new age, the Bitchwaxianeseselfrighteousnessrulessofuckyoumofockers era!!! All will bow down!!
But what if you can't spell "phonetic"..................................??
Coming you say? Coming, for me?!?!
First off apologies to those to whom I owe emails, it's fucked, to put it bluntly. Somewhat simlar to my use of the word 'whom'. I am NOT Ross, I am Chandler so get that into your head RIGHT now. And those of you who think that you're Joey, get real. PLEASE!!! No-one can be Joey, equally so no-one can be Chandler. Except me. And I am. So there. And Neo too. Of course. No, YOUR Nan on toast. But yeah, my sincerest apologies.
Now moving on, everyone of course knows that I am the One Man Pitmaster. (No I am not the King of your under-arm area, although I could be if I wanted to be. I'm just not). But now I think that we can all agree on who is also the newly-crowned Two Man Pitmaster!!! As now two people can testify, such as Mr 779, who may or may not remember the ass-kicking he got at least year's Krazy House gig (he did take a couple of shots to the head), and last week's Mr Sorry But I Don't Remember Your Name But You Do Know Caiti, who, I think it's safe to say, was in the wrong place at the wrong time when I decided to Layeth the Smacketh Down on his CANDY ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry...........................
So I passed my probation today. Yes, it's been 6 months, and yes, I rule at this job. Not that it's difficult to rule at this job, but I do all the same. Not that that really means a whole lot, other than now I get sick pay and a snippet of a payrise that will probably be fairly insignificant, if not entirely so. But it's better than nothing so I can't complain. Well I could, but I won't. Should I? Nah. Well, maybe later................................
This is a fairly long blog entry isn't it? Did it have a purpose? Really, think back on what you've read. Did any of it mean anything at all?? Anything whatsoever? Let's face it, no. Yet here you are, still reading. And more importantly, here I am, still fuckin well writing!! Bye!
You bastards! Pay me more! Ohhhhh hold me back, that's right! I'll ave you I will!
THE BITCH IS BACK BABY!!!!!!!!
So yeah, er, hi. It's been a while, and I know I've been sorely missed by all. But more on that later....................... I would update everything but, frankly, I can't be assed. Download was bitchin', work is pissin me off but I'm gonna sitck it out, money is slowly beginnin to settle down yadda yadda yadda......................... Oh, and me and Joey are still completely in lurrrrrrrrrrrrvvvve.
So anyway, where have I been?? Well, sadly the PC is currently severely infected with that cripplingly, er, crippling virus known as Spyware. Even more sadly, we can't fuckin well get rid of it! We're still infected, and I really couldn't be assed coming on all the time with the gajillion pop-ups tellin me we're still infected, so I haven't. So there you have it. I haven't deserted y'all, I haven't died (although the distinct lack of emails and texts indicates it may not have made that much difference), and so here we are. I looked at everyone's blog and did everyone the courtesy of reading your last entry, but was I bollocks trapesing through six week's worth of blogging?? Hell no.
It seems everyone has missed me so much that they can't bear to see me at all, just in case it brings flooding back the memories of good times with the Nickster. Which is clearly the reason for the complete absence of any invites to recent social events other than late night drunken ones. Moving on, B movie? Ouch. To sub-quote the genius that is AdamAnt, "I'm a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend, but you don't know me. Honest. Can I get in free?"
But hey it's cool we're apparently all adults here, hence the thrilling conversing in which we all regularly participate, so I'm past it. 21 in a few weeks. I say a few, it's more like eight. That has a distinct chance of being a complete non-event. Then again I'm not sure if I'd be all that bothered were that the case, coz it seems celebrating would be something of a chore so let's hear no more about it.
Wow good intro, no?
