Bollukus Eventicus
Beer guts are despicable.................
So it's all go on the Nature front at the mo. Last Wednesday's show stealing performance has indeed proved fruitful, so much so in fact that the support slot for this Saturday's all-nighter at Le Kray is now theirs. A wondrous gig it shall be - one hopes that a longer than is customary set will be permitted, in which instance a magnificent array of chooans shall be explored like never before.
If you're gonna do something, do it properly. That's what I say. So, why is it that people continue to choose to wear these pathetic, half-assed, "light" colours? The way I see it is, if it doesn't make you look twice, then it wasn't worth your attention first time around. Which is why you often find yourself reading this stuff again, coz you know that everything contained within these pages is pure unrivalled poetic genius. But I digress.
Speaking of digression, do you ever find yourself just sitting, thinking? Nothing is going on around you. Your eyes are open, but you're not really looking at anything. Your mind just wanders. It's a great feeling, better than any drug I've ever had the pleasure of trying. The fascinating thing is, you will eventually find yourself wondering about what you're wondering about. And then wondering why. At which point you realise that you have been sitting still for almost an hour, and you STILL haven't paid the lavatory that visit you had scheduled. Unless this happens to occur while you are partaking in a weight-loss program in the comfort of your water closet. In which case your ring might, by this point, be a bit crusty.
If you knew that, after reading the first line of this blog, you were going to end up reading about human excretion habits, would you have kept reading? Do yourself a favour - get comfortable first. It hurts.
Especially if you're bald. Naturally.
Fly my pretties, fly!!!
Been a while I know, so, considering mine is officially the most magnificent blog there has ever been, I decided to give you all a taste of the magic. Work has been super-busy, but you don't wanna read about all that I know. So, moving on, I'm boss. We both know that's really what you came here to read about, so there's no point denying it. What I will avoid though, is ramming it down your throat because I would much rather simply shine in my own inimitable way, and let you realise for yourself just how boss I truly am.
The latest news from these shores is that Joey has managed to re-dislocate her knee - ouch. However, improvement has been speedier this time around and hopefully this won't be too much of a setback on the road to full recovery. The plan is still to wait for her to get a full-time job and then see what we can do about finding a flat. I've managed to save up a fair wedge (hehe, wedge) in the time passed since Christmas, so hopefully we can hit the ground running, as they say. By the way, who are "they"? And why do we always go along with what "they" say? Surely we are bright enough to find solutions to our problems ourselves, rather than relying on a clichéd phrase that really has no meaning. Anyway, went off track there ........................... Er, yeah. That's the plan.
Nature gig comin up this Wednesday - should be a decent one in the Kray. Slunt are the main attraction, which by the way, I would just like to say is a really good name for a band. Or indeed for anything. Congratulations on that. Next on the scene, Slinge. Think about it ...........................
Hot, innit? So what?
So it's Wimbledon again. My secret second favourite sport. Well third actually, if you count wrestling. Which of course you must coz it's the best thing in the world. But yeah, Wimbledon. All those who yell, "Come on Tim!!" in the next two weeks must be shot. Make no mistake, I would like to see the guy win, but those whiney, whingey, pathetic, puny, annoying cries of "encouragement" (distraction) almost make me want him to lose. Which is why I would much rather see Rusedski win it. Coz he rules. But not as much as me. Which is where we started earlier, if you were paying attention. You don't even know why, but you know it's true. Oh yes, I am the master. Oh yes ...........
Continue the research.
Hmmmm, what to blog, what to blog...................
Clearly I am somewhat unoccupied in work at the moment; hence I have some spare time to lob a blog down. Genuine question: How many times in your life have you seen the words "somewhat", "hence" and "lob" in the same sentence? It's a gift...... So yeah like I said, I'm bored. Some concerns at the moment about this - I've been in this new job six weeks now, and so far so good is all I can say really. The story at present is I'm on a 3-month secondment - but then what? When I applied it wasn't advertised as a secondment, and then I was offered the role in that format, so I accepted, thinking that I'd get told that it'd be made permanent when the time came. Unfortunately, that hasn't been mentioned yet, and hasn't even really surfaced as an issue. I don't even know if I'm being monitored, if it's mine unless I screw up or if I'm under pressure to perform to keep the job. Some serious consequences to this - permanence could mean major life changes, whereas re-demotion could mean the end of my CRB stint, or at least my Capita stint. Very worrying ponderance....... (3-0)
Bank Holiday weekend went by very smoothly. Friday night we went to FACT to see Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. Seriously cool. As I was watching I thought to myself that I could potentially become something of a Star Wars nut, but then the end came and something was missing. The next day we watched Episode IV: A New Hope on Sky Movies and that was decent enough too. But again, the ending was pretty awful and I found myself wallowing in a state of anti-climactic disillusionment. Saturday we also went to ASDA (yay) to purchase foodage and the coolest present EVER for a recent birthday boy. (I realise that right now the prospect of a present from ASDA is not an exciting one, but believe me, this rules). Then Sunday was a day of relaxation, enjoying a quality roast dinner that only my mum can make, as well as an ironing marathon. Excitement personified. Monday we went for picnickage (my words are so cool) and walkage (oh he's on a roll now) and then some bussage (COME ON!!) back to mine for afternoon delight (not that kind) and watched Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. A boss film, by the way. So yeah, cool weekend.........
This has become a very worthwhile bloggage session now, so while I'm flying I think I'll continue. You thought you were going to escape then, didn't you? Hahahahahaha, not a chance! You'll leave when I say so, and not before. If I'm not finished writing, then you're not finished reading. And I'm not finished writing. So there. I know what you're thinking. "If I leave now, I would win. But I can't bear the thought of not reading the rest. I know. I'll read, and then pretend that I didn't. That'll do it. Oh yeah........." But I won't fall for it. Oh no. There. Now I've finished. You may leave.
Don't let the door hit you on the arse on the way out.
