Bollukus Eventicus
I am not happy.
The Hallowe'en festivities have been severely disrupted this year. The fact that I am at home now, at 9:45pm on a Saturday, is evidence of this. The reason being of course, that yours truly has to go to work later. And when I say later, I mean at 2:30am tonight. Which is made even more irritating as the clocks go back tonight, meaning that booking a cab in advance would be an absolute nightmare, so I have to venture out onto the streets in the hope that I will find me a taxi good and prompt. Without getting murdered of course......
Slight consolation can be found in that I have Monday off, which is always good. Hangover shopping shall be the event of the day, which probably will be about as much fun as goin into work at half two in the mornin on a Saturday night. Ahem....
Today's Word of the Blog is "Quiffler". Defined by the definitive dictionary of the Bitchwaxianese language of gentlemen as Quiffler - one who masturbates using various baked goods to aid in maximising the pleasure of the activity. There you have it peeps, quiffler.
Not a lot else to say today really - I guess I just came on for a moan and to kill a minute or fifteen. So I think I'll leave you with the burning question of the hour. - are YOU a quiffler? Answers in a securely fastened chamber of your mind, to which nobody should EVER have access.
I have to go now.
What a curious shot!!
So we're on shifts in work. It's not as bad as it sounds really. In a 4-week rota, we do 2 weeks of 8-4:30, 1 week of 9-5:30 and i week of 9:30-6. So it could be a helluvalot worse. There's still no weekends, no real late ones, so we're not too fussed. The job is goin really well at the mo - just been given a new project to do. It's gonna take me into 2006 so I think once that's done successfully I can consider myself well and truly established in this team. I still feel such a long way behind sometimes, but this, together with the software testing course I'm going on, should serve me well as far as establishing myself goes.
But enough of the jobspeak, it's time to move on. "Plethora" is today's Word of the Blog. Defined by the All New Oxford Illustrated Dictionary (by new I mean 1978) as "Plethora" - morbid conditin marked by excess of red corpuscles in blood. It is more commonly interpreted as meaning simply, "lots of" something, but isn't it fascinating to learn of its medicinal origin? Who here really knew that was its literal definition? Honestly now. Hmmmm...............
Not quite feelin it today, the Force seems mysteriously absent. Think I'll call it a day there.
A day!!!
Five weekends in one month? You can complain......
Does anyone else find it a bit off that the answer to all these Internet quizzes is always the right one? I mean, no offence not intended to those who publish their results, you are free to do so, but how reliable is it? Did you take the test three times before you got the result you wanted? Did you lie in the first place to obtain the desirable outcome? Or do you only publish the answers that you like, and ditch the rest? Typical of me to be so cynical I suppose, but still, Devil's an' all that jazz...
Does anyone else agree that scallies are the human equivalent of flies? Take a second to think about it. They're not really evil, they're not really threatening. They're not as bad as wasps, but somehow you find yourself wanting to kill them more. They serve no real purpose to anyone or anything, and they hang around shite. I mean, is this just coincidence, or is there something I missed? Because this only just occurred to me recently, and it's been staring me in the face for years. Think for a moment of the emotions that stir inside you when you see a gang of scally fuckers hanging around, or even hurling abuse, and then compare that to that feeling you get when you've just sat down for a hearty sausage droplet, when you hear it. "Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz", it goes. "Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz". You're not scared, coz you know that it's shit scared of you (no pun intended), but you're somehow annoyed by its presence, or perhaps the meer insignificance of its presence. Are you annoyed at it, or are you annoyed at yourself for even taking notice in the first place? Frighteningly similar I think........................
This evening's dollop of Word of the Blog stems from a very reliable source - me. Today's offering is "Shibby". Derived from the movie "Dude, Where's My Car?", shibby is an expression that takes many different meanings depending on intonation and context. It's offical definition is as follows: Shibby - to recreationally smoke a marijuana cigarette and/or pipe. The art of shibbying is most highly regarded by those who no longer partake in such activity, and most highly condemned by those who never have. The word can also be used as an expression of delight and/or pleasure at any given thing. For example, "Dude, I just saw my first ever hoo-hoos!!" said Chester. "Hehe, shibby", replied Jesse.
Oh yeah, almost forgot. Prague is sweet!!! First night - two pints of damned good beer costs 50p. Second morning was not pretty........ But in all seriousness, the place is really cool. So many phenomenally architectured buildings, and numerous magnificent restaurants and/or bars, none more so than that in the hotel. Free peanuts!!! I hate them to be honest, but Joey was happy.... I recommend you go.
Spect.
Cocksober is gonna be the coolest month ever......
Plane takes off in 14 hours, flight lands in 16 1/4 hours, provided it doesn't crash somewhere in between. Preferably somewhere over the Alps, and then I'll ski down those mofos on my Metal Hammer, Devil horns in the air, all the way to the foot and declare "Woohah!!! I am the Daddy of the mountainous hills that reside in this region!!!" Whoa, it lost cool somewhere along the way there....
So a surprisingly distinct lack of fear and/or trepidation is present. First EVER excursion alone with the lady, first EVER holiday without adult supervision, first EVER trip into mainland Europe and first EVER journey into the Czech Republic. You don't think of it as the most glamorous of destinations I'm sure, but it is undeniable that a country tha has a silent 'z' in it's name has just GOT to be simply marvellous. It is most definitely worthy of a Word of the Blog entry, but it would be far too easy at present.
Speaking of WOTB, today's installment is going to have to be Phlebotomy. Defined by Dictionary.com as "Phlebotomy - The act or practice of opening a vein by incision or puncture to remove blood as a therapeutic treatment." Otherwise known as Venesection, it derides from Latin as phlebotome, which is an amalgamation of two words. Phlebo, meaning vein, and tome, meaning cutting. Please pick up your jaw, you'll leave a mark!! Another mesmerising edition of Word of the Blog.
Alas, I must bring this worthy postage to a slightly abrupt end, as one has plenty to do in preparation for tomorrow. The adrenaline is flowing, the Pro-Plus is packed, and the Korunas are stashed away safely. Here we come Czechites!!!
Y'know, it's like I have a switch for it...........
